If you're dealing with the feeling of constant rejection I ask that you please read this and really meditate on this word. Let's go through Biblical, Spiritual, and Scientific breakdowns of feeling rejected or how to deal with the trauma of childhood rejection. You'll be shocked to find out that your rejection may have started before you were born and that's horrible but I hope with this article we can begin a break through and healing process for you in Jesus name.
Definition of Rejection
The dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc. but this also can include a person. Someone that has been dismissed all their lives, refused, not thought about. Other words for Rejection include "nonacceptance, declining, dismissal". A lot of us can identify with this emotion of not feeling accepted, feeling declined and some of us do that to others. This isn't like someone just disagreeing with you or not wanting to be your friend or not wanting to be around you. It's a free country and there's a fine line between someone being forced to make you feel good and someone who's purposely out to make sure you feel like garbage.
With that said there are some people in our lives that we do not expect rejection from and it starts with our family. Sure, friends could take part in this feeling but we are not born into a nest of friends we are born into a family. A father and a mother and maybe some siblings too. From these individuals we are expecting love and care but to receive rejection instead is a deep pain that can have significant effects on anyone.
Even Science Shows the horrible effects that rejection can have on a person especially children. When this rejection goes unanswered or ignored it wrecks havoc in this individuals life and consumes them. There are way to many variables in this topic and to focus on any specific reason would be to not ever get to our point.
"Intercultural research indicates that two dimensions of parental behavior can be identified in human societies: acceptance and rejection. According to Rohner, parental behavior can be defined as a continuum. In one end of the continuum we could find parents that manifest love and affection towards their children, both verbally and physically. In the other, we could find parents with aversive feelings towards their children, who use severe and abusive practices. Parental rejection is, according to Rhoner, the absence or the significant withdrawal of warmth, affection or love from parents toward their children." Read More Here
Studies have shown that despite mothers being known for their nurturing nature children rejected by their fathers turn out far worse than any other children. Ronald Rhoner conducted about 36 studies on the matter in the University of Connecticut and proved that a fathers rejection is far worse than a mothers psychologically. Their development is attacked by the emotional wounds and a fathers rejection is proven to effect a child's personality the most. We know a mothers love usually gets the spotlight but fathers need to know how important their love is as well.
Examples of rejection in childhood within a family include:
- Preferring one child to another,
- Not being fair when extending privileges,
- Allowing some siblings to have certain freedoms others do not (excluding age appropriate activities),
- Spending too much time on your phone or online,
- One parent leaving and not following through on commitments,
- Lack of quality time together,
- Making fun of a child,
- Interrupting or not letting your child speak,
- Not showing interest in what makes your child tick,
- Biting sarcasm,
- Withholding compliments and praise, or
- Never coming to your children’s events.
I'll start by giving a personal account on my experience with rejection both from my point of view and watching another person. My dad abandoned his duties as a father when I was around 8 years old. Maybe it even started before that but I can remember as back as being 8-10 years old and my father destroying our family. The abuse he caused my mother and me left me with wounds that carried on with me unto my adult years. I was delivered form childhood trauma late last year and I'm completely free but before that happened it was truly rough. I began rebelling against my mother and anyone in general at the age of 15. When I was 13-14 I was a selective mute. Selective mutism is a severe anxiety disorder where a person is unable to speak in certain social situations, such as with classmates at school or to relatives they do not see very often. It usually starts during childhood and, if left untreated, can persist into adulthood. I refused to speak while at school for the entire 6th grade. I would speak here and there to some people that I felt comfortable with and I'd speak at home but anywhere else I felt like I needed to be invisible to protect myself.
Eventually I broke out of Selective mutism but began to spiral down a long path of personality disorders. Every year I changed who I was, how I dressed, Hair color, and beyond. I was in constant search for the person I lost somewhere in my childhood. If you haven't watched my testimony you can see that reflected on there. Life at times didn't even feel real and I had no control over my emotions. I was depressed and I was lost. No one could help me not even my mother and we did have counseling as kids because of the trauma my father caused. When we lived in shelters we were required to speak to a counselor every week to make sure we're okay. I had a councilor in school to who would make me explain my feelings through art and animal toys. They'd ask me things like how I felt about my dad and I'd grab the lion toy and have him eat everything because I felt that's what he did he came and devoured everything from us. That awfully sounds like how the Bible describes Satan now that I think about it.
On the other side of the coin I have also experienced time with a person who hasn't healed from rejection. It's one of the most horrible experiences of my life. It's hard to even be upset with anyone because everything the person does feels correct to them. The only thought in their mind is to protect themselves, survival, nothing else matters except not being betrayed again. I would look at this person like and would envision someone hanging off a cliff begging for dear life. Anything would become a trigger to them and remind them of a pain they experienced. The way they would attack me was almost as if I just squeezed lemon juice on every heart wound they carried. This trauma created a person with no self control over their emotions, constant anxiety, constant fear, constant feeling of rejection. In fact if you disagree with someone like this they might make everything about who's side you're on and if you make them feel like you never pick "their side" that becomes a problem too. It's walking on eggshells but the whole world is an eggshell and you cannot escape from offending them. Everyone is an enemy out to get them it doesn't matter if all you've shown them is love, loyalty, and trust. There is no forgiveness in rejection and this is what opens doors to demonic spirits.
The Spirit of Rejection is A Lie from the Enemy
When you understand that the spirit of rejection lies about God’s love and your worth, you can begin the process of being set free. The enemy uses the stronghold of rejection in spiritual warfare, but the Word of God can work in your life to set you free.
- How the spirit of rejection is manifested in your life
- Where the spirit of rejection comes from
- How to battle the spirit of rejection with the guidance of the Holy Spirit
How the Spirit of Rejection is Manifested in Your Life
The spirit of rejection taunts you with feelings of worthlessness. It partners with the orphan spirit to make you feel unwanted.
This stronghold of rejection makes you question your identity in Christ Jesus and tells you that you are not fully adopted into God’s family. It battles against the spirit of sonship.
Seven Manifestations of the Spirit of Rejection
- You feel despondent. There seems to be no words of encouragement that can be spoken over you to set you free from this feeling of rejection.
- You feel left out of conversations as if you are an observer, unable to interact.
- You feel that life’s opportunities have passed you by, and it is too late to do anything about it.
- You feel rejected if you are not recognized for your accomplishments by those in authority.
- You feel the spirit of envy setting in as you begin comparing your situations with others.
- The feeling of envy and comparison partner with rejection and tell you that you were not given a fair chance in life.
- You feel the need to prove yourself while at the same time feeling you can never measure up.
Source: Curt Landry Ministries
10 Fruits of a Spirit of Rejection At Work In Your Life
- You find yourself comparing your circumstances or situations with others, and you never seem to measure up.
- You feel like you missed out on life’s opportunities and now it’s too late.
- No amount of encouragement is enough to convince you of your worth.
- You feel rejected if you are not greeted or acknowledged by leadership.
- You constantly seek the approval of others and suffer from people pleasing.
- You are easily offended or embarrassed from discipline or correction.
- You are always trying to prove yourself in public.
- You feel like you are on the outside looking in during interactions with people.
- You think you could do a better job than the current leader or teacher if you are given the opportunity.
FREE DEVOTIONAL TO DESTORY THE SPIRIT OF REJECTION
The Womb Curses
You might find it surprising but maybe you had an amazing life. You haven't suffered any major blows to your childhood and you had loving parents yet something went wrong somewhere. The place where you were created, the womb is a place where rejection can come in. Maybe once your parents saw you something clicked and the love filled there heart but what about before that? You have to know that rejection could've came in because your parents didn't want you when they found out about you. The parents felt you were a burden and even contemplated abortion. After that for the rest of your life you've had a demon come through that crack and began planting lies in you.
Nothing has worked. Counseling didn't work, you tried to forgive, you've been praying but you keep having this uncontrollable feeling even to the point of hearing something inside tell you to cause yourself harm. You can clearly see that this is something beyond you now. You feel as if you're attacked by these thoughts on the daily. Rejection has become your personality. Time for deliverance. Use this Deliverance Map for help.